In no particular order, here are some of my favorites. A little after my daughter had her first birthday and started walking around unaided, she turned into a fucking monster. What happens when you leave your profile up at the Apple Store. If he had made the whole thing up, it was in very poor taste. The rest of them are still out there, somewhere.
It was great, even if she was completely off her rocker. Get a head start with these recommendations. I'm touched that you'd make me something. Share one of your dates gone wrong. Take it from me: If he wanted to be here, he'd be here.
It was our third night of sleeping at the hospital. Thank you so much for being a fan of A Bad Case of the Dates! He had a giant plate of chicken Parmesan. I don't even want to spend one more fucking minute with you. After we dropped the child off with the sitter in Wallingford, he insisted we hunt down some yogurt, as he was convinced live cultures would help his gut. He got more annoyed, and then I got more annoyed at him for being annoyed on my last night. We made big plans to get all done up, dine at their very fancy restaurant, and then go hear some jazz on the town. I stayed for 20 more mortifying minutes before faking a work emergency.
I gave her her phone and she stormed down to an Amtrak station that was close by. He kept me laughing and he was pretty charming and he spoke at a regular volume. Just made a pile out of them on the restaurant table. After more than 30 minutes goes by she is about to go check on him when his roommate comes back in. But he was probably busy and I'd be seeing him that evening, so I wasn't really concerned. On another night, we had a nice evening of shopping Victoria's Secret! We stayed overnight in a cozy hotel and the next day we planned to explore northern Vermont. Then there was that date night we actually did make it out.
He had used my shower as a toilet. That first night we had some fun. He was a good guy and I called him up to explain the situation to him and let him know that I was likely going to have to leave his daughter stuck in the middle of Vermont in the winter with no plausible way to make it home. Had greasy food for dinner. Two months before I left, I started dating this guy who was really hot and awesome.
Right around this time, her dad and I realized we hadn't been alone together without the child sleeping nearby for more than an hour since before she was born. They turned toward us and I became a bit embarrassed. We haven't had a proper night out since then. On that day, I'll post my worst date ever. We thought it would be nice to take a weekend trip up to New Hampshire and Vermont. I screamed as he ran right at me but I stood my ground and as he reached out to me I whacked him right in the face with my purse.
You kept us going these last few months. The bar we were at was having a trivia night; since we entered a round late, we came in last place. I even let myself laugh about it a bit. There are some people you shouldn't stalk. Indeed, in her mind, I and I alone was apparently to blame for the day's unfortunate festivities.
Now and always, I hope you find love and laughter. Story Sent in by Teena: On a cold winter evening, Joel brought me to a local botanic garden that had holiday lights on display. Everything was going really well, they were really getting along. Went to the beach after and all the boys got drunk and decided to build a massive bonfire then strip naked and try to jump over it. I essentially resolved to drive us back to my place, where her car was, and if she wanted to throw bitter vitriol at me the entire time, I could take it. The guy, whoever he was, stumbled back and yelled on about his face. I was imagining a romantic night in a hotel, yea not.
Then he told me about his friend, Kyle. I met him for brunch the next day, where he told me that he really had fallen asleep from exhaustion, and I believed him. She sobbed through most of the first half and pleaded that we leave at the intermission. At one point, I basically shoved it into his mouth to get it over with, and he immediately knocked it out of my hand. He then told me I reminded him of his mother… Like it was a good thing. And when we got home from dinner, the apartment still smelled like burnt rice—and continued to do so for the rest of the weekend. He told me we were going to order delivery and invited me to curl up next to him on the couch.